American Exceptionalism

Americans have been full of it since the signing of the Declaration of Independence, and it seems to have elevated since the rise of the GOP from the fiery bowels of hell, but folks, we got a bigger fish on our hands here.  Ladies and gentlefrogs, boys and girls, and all other various clichés, I give you...*drumroll*.....*CYMBAL!*  AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM!!!!

Any sentient being with even half a brain knows that the idea of American Exceptionalism is just another bunch of self-righteous bullshit that we try to jam down people's throats like a big red-white-and-blue dick.  The fact of the matter is we simply can't go about our business without thinking we're better than somebody else because we have a thirty-million dollar mansion or a twenty-thousand-dollar microwave or a three-hundred-thousand-dollar solid gold vibrator.  Americans have this obsession with being better than everyone else, but why?  What automatically elevates Americans above the average person of this Earth? I can tell you right now, it certainly ISN'T intelligence.  For every one engineer we graduate, I believe China graduates eleven, but I could be wrong.  So don't quote me on that.

Back to the ridiculous notion that we are somehow better than everyone else, I pose another problem to our delusion. How can we expect to be better than everyone when we can't even outrun most of the population?  Have you taken a look at the average American at Wal-Mart? They're huuuuuge!!! Of course, this is coming from a one-hundred-forty-five pound teenager, but still!  Americans (per capita) have an incurable case of fatasfuckolitis, so I think that pretty much disqualifies us from the race to the top.  Especially the race to the top of the food chain, otherwise where'd the hell did these vegetarian assholes come from?  "Killing animals is wrong!! But I still eat chicken sometimes!!" Yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck off already.  

I just can't get over the amount of stupid bullshit that Americans say and do, like banning abortion and going to war at the drop of a hat.  That's another thing: abortion.  "A FETUS IS A HUMAN BEING AND SHOULD BE SAVED!!! UNTIL IT GROWS UP AND WE NEED IT FOR WAR, THEN IT NEEDS TO DIE SO WE CAN KEEP STEALING MONEY!!!"  Backwards logic is backwards and unjustifiable when viewed through the eyes of reason.  "LIFE IS SACRED!!!"  Ted Kennedy called.  Oh wait, no he didn't, because he's fucking dead.  Nothing sacred about that, thank you very much.  Religious bullshit is religious bullshit; doesn't matter how you slice it.  People are stupid, I know, I know, but that doesn't mean their idiocy can't be called out and laughed at by the sane.

I'm tired now.  Good night.  I've been pissed off enough.